We just moved. For weeks now, life has been pure, unadulterated chaos. I tend to exaggerate but this time, I promise I’m not. Instead of unpacking boxes, I want to tell you a few things because it feels important. Also? Procrastination / Waiting for Mary Poppins.

I actually wrote this post a week before we moved but never published it. I suppose getting to the computer felt too overwhelming.

Now we’re on the “other side,” so to speak. We’re still far from settled but we’re in. {Praise hands!} Life will be crazy for a while / forever so these 10 things will probably be relevant for longer than I wish.

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1. Call in all your favors and say no to everything. Now is not the time to go above and beyond.

2. Marie Callendar makes delicious meals in family-size containers. And by delicious I mean they will at least fill up your family and save you from cooking and cleaning and another run through the drive-thru, lest the Chick-Fil-A clerk say, “Oh! You again?”

3. Accept that you will do things like obsessively organize papers that have been in files for 15 years instead of packing actual boxes. You might drink a glass of wine in the attic and message your grad school friend and ask her what to do with ALL THE STUFF that proves you once had a brain and once read important books and once wrote papers with words like “hegemony.”

4. Children are ridiculous and cannot begin to appreciate your grown-up stress. They will have the audacity to ask for things like clean underwear and help with homework. The nerve. Dismiss them as much as you can and assure yourself that you are helping them develop resilience.

5. You are fully convinced that you will never again feel settled, normal, or sane. You dream of sleeping for 10 days straight but ironically, you need medicine to stay asleep.

6. You will drive by 7 / 11 and decide it’s a fine time to stress-eat a Snicker’s Bar and inhale a Big Gulp. Then you will hate yourself and also 7 / 11 for the being the temptress that she is. You will also want another Snicker’s.

7. You will drive around with a real plate of half-eaten pancakes soaking in syrup because how can you manage all this stuff and feed your kids and get them to school on time? You will wallow in shame because who drives around with real dishes and syrup like it’s a normal thing? You will take a picture anyway because you can’t make this stuff up.

8. You will get hungry around lunchtime and those dang pancakes will still be there, suddenly looking more tasty than shameful.

9. You discover that leftover pancakes marinated in syrup and sunshine are surprisingly delicious.

10. You will write a blog post when you should be packing or unpacking. Because this blog isn’t going to write itself and also because you had an iced grande Americano {sweetened and with extra cream} and it is THE JUICE, people. Go get one and feel sorry for me.

{And one more just for good measure.}

11. You will look longingly at retirement communities, even though you are only 42. Because the idea of having some assisted living sounds glorious.

The End.

Love, Marian

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