Day 22: Don’t Let Difficult Days Boss You Around.

31 days final big button

It’s all too easy to let a string of hard days make you want to jump ship. Back when we homeschooled, I experienced difficult days that dragged into difficult weeks and it made me question everything, including my worth as a human being. Days without a shower will do that to an overwhelmed mom.

The tears over grammar every. single. day. 

The toddler filling the toilet with shoes, hair bows, and trash while I tried to teach the big kids.

The house in a constant state of disaster + the dailyness of dinner + the kids who were still in pajamas at 3 pm + my own exhaustion and showerlessness. 

And let’s not forget that time I was handcuffed out of my own bathroom. 

handcuff

Now that we do public school, we still experience difficult days that drag into difficult weeks that can also make me question everything.

The late nights and early mornings of homework after cheering for football games.

The lack of my child’s enthusiasm for certain subjects because of a teacher’s lack of enthusiasm.

The many miles I put on our van every day + the exposure to less-than-ideal cultural trends + the early-morning stress of getting everyone where they need to be. 

Sometimes just one of these stressors hangs around day after day. And other times it’s a perfect storm of all the bad things, all at once. Negativity can wrap itself around you until you’re swaddled in a blanket of doubt and failure. You imagine that no one else is flailing and failing like you are.

What if we’ve gotten this all wrong?!?

It’s a familiar refrain. And if we hear it enough times, the question turns from inquisition to accusation.

You HAVE gotten this all wrong.

But accusation never has a place in these decisions. It is okay to question, to evaluate, and to reevaluate. It is even okay to let a season of very difficult days re-route your path, even if the re-routing is only temporary. But it’s not okay to internalize accusations, whether the condemnation comes from you or comes from others. When we allow accusations to boss us around, we’re prone to rash decisions and a despair that sucks the perseverance right out of us. We’re dead in the water before a new day even begins.

When you and your spouse have made your decision out of love, out of what you believe is fruitful for your children, for your family, and for yourself — you can rest.

For those who are in Christ, we know all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. We trust that the hard days are ultimately a gift if they show us how much we need a source of strength, wisdom, and comfort that’s beyond ourselves. These days invite us to lean into humility and grace.

Yes, many hard days in a row may eventually lead us to a different path, but not always. Don’t allow doubt, comparison, and accusation to sabotage your patience and perspective.

Just do today. We’re promised difficulty in this world. But we’re also promised a source of strength who has overcome it.  

Tomorrow we’ll talk about taking care of ourselves and our families in the process. A season of difficult days is draining but the only one who expects you to be a martyr is probably you.

And Friday’s post will go a step further and delve into the question: How do we know when it’s time to let a good thing go and switch educational paths?

/////

How has a season of difficult days caused you to doubt your own path?

For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

Don’t want to miss a post in the series? You can subscribe and have each post delivered right to your inbox. As always, you may unsubscribe any time you like. {I promise not to sell your address to pirates, aliens, spammers, or The Gap.}

Comments

  1. says

    Doubt my path? Uhh, all. the. time. Am I messing them up? Am I providing what they need in our choice to homeschool? Sometimes the questions assail my mind like a flood. Conversely, though, there are seasons when I am as sure as ever that this is the right way for us right now. Thank you for the reminder that even those in traditional school battle with the same questions. I am in a sure season right now, and wasn’t convinced this series would be what I would be interested in following this month. But, Marian, I have to tell you that you have hit spot-on with what I have needed to hear in each and every post. I have been encouraged, challenged, and inspired. If ever you doubt God is using your words to make a difference, don’t. Blessings to you as you journey on.

      • says

        ” . . . the hard days are ultimately a gift if they show us how much we need a source of strength, wisdom, and comfort that’s beyond ourselves.” Love this and would like to use it in a post I have planned for Friday? Of course, I will give you the credit for saying it and will include a link to your site : )

Trackbacks

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *