Marriage, Mess and Mercy

This is my first-ever guest post. I am honored beyond measure to share my words and story with Emily {Chatting at the Sky} and her gracious readers who have become my Tuesday sisterhood.


I prayed for months that I wouldn’t throw up or cry as I floated down the aisle to meet him. I didn’t want mascara dripping down my face or nausea ruining my dress. I didn’t want to be a mess. I wanted to be perfect. Looking back, I probably saw God’s answer to my superficial prayers as a good sign that life would be a lovely storybook…just like that day.


  1. says

    I’m so glad to have you today. You are a fantastic writer! I forgot to mention that today is your anniversary! So I put it at the bottom of the post just now. Happy day to you :)

  2. says

    Enjoyed your story and how God is bringing forth the life he intended for you all along.

    We have quite a bit in common — Don Miller, Ann Voskamp, Paris,and school around the kitchen table. How nice to meet you.

  3. says

    Just popping over from Emily’s place to say congratulations on 15 years together. I loved your honesty–I’d guess we’ve all been in places like that at one time or another, but you had the courage to admit it. Thank you for your example of perseverance and seeking Christ through really deep waters.

  4. says

    Happy Anniversary Mr. and Mrs. Scooper!

    Scooper, I liked you instantly when I met you and it’s stories like this one that make me see why. What a beautiful love story- a story of God’s redeeming love, of lasting love, of REAL love!

  5. says

    Oh wow! Happy Anniversary to you both!!! I wanted to stop over from Emily’s to tell you how much your amazing testimony of the power of God and covenant marriage meant to me. It takes a lot of courage to live an authentic life when things are rough. Learning to live each day in that authentic humble way opens the doors for God to pour His incredible healing love in on us. I had to learn that lesson too and God has brought me to a new place in life filled with His Love, His Joy and the courage to authentically be me, even when I don’t always want to be. You and your husband’s marriage is a great testimony to God’s power that is STILL working when we open our hearts, step out in faith and have the courage to let Him have His way even when it isn’t what the world is telling us to do. Thank you so much for sharing! And I am so glad that I have found your blog! I will be back!!!

  6. says

    I loved your post at Emily’s blog and just wanted to read MORE AND MORE. It’s sad that we’re all so oblivious on the day we get married. Then again, I wonder if God made us that way – to be naive as we walk down that aisle – because who in the world would agree to all the challenges, pain and heartache required to have a healthy marriage?

  7. says

    I just read your post on Emily’s blog… absolutely beautiful!!! Thank you for sharing your story of love, forgiveness and how God is able to restore and renew. Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 15th anniversary as well and I am reminded of God’s grace and all that He has brought us through in the last 15 years.

    Have a wonderful day!!!

  8. says

    Darling Scooper. You are a pint-sized woman with a gallon-sized heart.

    Thank you for being real. Thank you for sharing that real-ness. One scoop of honesty is worth so much more than heaping helpings of illusion.

    God bless you and your husband. Here’s to the next 15 years!

    Love you!

    • says

      Hi Rune Marvellous the phpotgraoh, improbable jump! It is important you even have your own something small and you fight him you appear, and you fight him you grow always, with the hope! This is very beautiful as also and current your post!

  9. Anonymous says

    HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! Thanks for sharing your story and giving realistic insight to marriage. It is wonderfully tough. Hang tight with Jesus.

  10. Bette says

    Loved this post, Marian! It applies to so many different life situations……happy anniversary to you and Lance!

  11. says

    your story brings glory to God, happy anniversary, and may he continue to be glorified through your marriage.

    i admire how you are seeking truth. so many stay prisoner to pride. i did for a long time. for me the lies were so familiar, going through each one, and breaking my agreement with them took time. little by little Truth became familiar. that is a good place to be.

    thank you for sharing.

  12. says

    Happy Anniversary! What a great post! Thank you for that! My husband and I have shared the same trials and tribulations as you guys have. We have been back together for about a month after several months apart and we have a rejuvenated sense of our marriage and God faith. Thank you again

  13. says

    Humbled and blessed by your honesty, M. I hope to continue to practice truth as you have learned/are learning. What a beautifully messy process, this whole business of living. XO

  14. says

    Thank you for writing this! Marriage is hard. So much of this post resonates with me, and I’m grateful for your willingness to let your story be an example of the working of God’s grace and mercy in marriage.

  15. says

    You are still an amazing writer. Congratulations on your first guest post. Hugs to Emily, too.

    Thank you for being so transparent in telling your marriage story. I am so grateful for your words, your encouragement and the way your thoughts reach me.

    Happy 15th Anniversary, dear friend.

    xoxoxox to all of you

  16. says

    Scooper, how nice to meet you in blogland, and happy anniversary to you and your husband. I just celebrated my 30th anniversary this weekend and I can so relate to everything you write about here. Marriage is such hard work sometimes, but the effort put forth to hold it together is so worth it. Thanks for sharing your heart and may you be blessed with many more years together.

  17. says

    M, this is beautiful!!! Something I’ve learned in only the past year is that marriage is hard and takes a lot of work, but it is beautiful and worth it!

    Thanks for your honesty in this post. I love reading your blog because that is one thing I can find in every word.

    I’m so glad God is in control when we think we are, right?! I’m so happy for you and L and your little ones! You guys are a wonderful family! :)

  18. says

    You hit one out of the park with your first guest post ever. I loved your story, your honesty. I am SO pleased to meet you here.

    Thank you for visiting Graceful this week — I’m sure I’ll be back here to visit again. I think we have a lot in common!

  19. says

    I am inspired by your courage today to share a bit of your story and painful journey. It is a gift that all us readers really appreciate! Rejoicing that you are celebrating 15 years together and God’s faithfulness and mercy. After reading this story it makes me appreciate little cupcake’s name – what a special little symbol of mercy in your life.
    Love you!

  20. says

    so glad to meet you today scooper! i scooted over from emily’s & wanted to say hi and i loved your post!!
    beautiful family & such a beautiful heart

    ps, i’m a new follower too

  21. says

    I know I didn’t stumble upon this post by accident. I too have been married for nearly 15 years. Except that this week the divorce became final. And yet I still hope for restoration. Am I crazy? Can you give me any specifics about the steps you took toward reconciliation? I need help and wisdom.

  22. says

    Such a beautiful tale. Our 13th anniversary is tomorrow, and I’ve been talking about it all week on my blog. It’s not all lows, not all highs, but the story we all create with our marriage is a story. Above all else, I hope our marriage helps us accomplish more than either of us ever could have done alone.

  23. says

    Happy Anniversary! We just celebrated 20 years, and I completely relate. And while we don’t blare our difficulties all over creation, it is SO helpful to be able to be honest with them with family, and friends. No need to gloss over or pretend with them. There is NO shame in a marriage that needs to be fought for. I’m still fighting for it over here…

    Your honesty is much appreciated. I’d love to read more about this…

  24. says

    Just found your blog today! What an incredible testimony! My husband and I are coming up on one year of marriage this weekend. I love how you said one little truth may be all we need- so true! Thanks for sharing your story :)

  25. says

    I just found your blog by way of Chatting at the Sky and I am so grateful I did. My husband and I will be celebrating 15 years of marriage next week (Jan. 13), and your post put words to so many of my experiences. I never comment about personal issues, but feel that somehow it is worth it this time. For years I have been uneasy and saddened with the state of my marriage….unresolved issues smoothed over so that no feathers are ruffled, often tiptoeing around problems so as not to unravel anything. I too have tried to make everything appear as close to perfect as I can …making everyone miserable in the process. We attend a wonderful church, but somehow fail to lean on God…believeing we can gather strength and discipline enough to fix things on our own. I am homeschooling our two girls for the second year and while I enjoy it, I often wonder if I have just brought them a little closer to the lie that all is not well in my marriage. I know I am rambling ( I do not have the gift of writing!), but am just reaching out for more insight. I don’t know where to go next. From the outside all looks great to our families and all but my closest friends. I don’t want to waste anymore time blaming and being discontent. I am sorry if this is too much info for a comment….I got carried away and just realized that this is not an e-mail! I guess I am making up for all of the times I have read comments but not posted! Although our situations and marriages are each unique, I would be most grateful for any further insight you feel comfortable sharing. Thanks so much.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *