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Marian Vischer

Marian Vischer

{Day 10} Real Writing




A week ago I was stressing over this whole 31 days thing. It was my first post and nothing felt right about it. I was worried and anxious.


I read and reread parts to my husband. He helped me tweak and rephrase a bit. 


But then he looked me in the eye and said something profound. He put his hand on my heart and spoke truth to my overthinking soul: I think you need to write from here and not for them. 


I teared up of course. He’s not a writer, not a lover of words like I am. He’s an economist, a lover of graphs and numbers and theories. 


But in that moment he could see more clearly than I could. He saw that I was worrying about “them” and in worrying over “them,” I was losing the message that had pulsed real within me. 


Do writers have to consider their audience? Of course. But writing can become all performance and no heart if we’re not careful.


Those simple words centered me. And with every post and every topic, I hear his words. Write from here.


We write for different reasons and we write for different audiences, some larger than others. 


For me, I write because I feel compelled to write. I would write even if there was no audience, though maybe not as often. And I do write words that no one reads, journal entries that chronicle thoughts and emotions too personal to share here. I don’t want to forget my story so I write it down. 


But there are bits of story I share in this place as well. And in doing so, I hope to encourage, to build community, to speak truth and realness and to hope that it makes a difference in the life of some soul on the other side of the screen.


My sweet friend, Bonita, wrote a bit about this on her blog recently. I think about her words much like I think about my husband’s.


Write the words you’d want to read.


As I write, I often hear Bonita’s simple challenge in my mind and I ask myself, Am I writing what I’d want to read or am I filtering my message through the supposed responses and opinions of others? 


I wonder if conflictedness is a normal part of being a writer. You want your words to read well. But you also want them to read true. 


When I’m struggling to find the right words, questioning whether it could all be misconstrued, misunderstood and misinterpreted, I go back to motivation.


Am I writing from a place of truth and realness or from a place of performance? Do I start with the message just bursting within or do I start with an audience in mind?

I think the starting point makes all the difference. 



{Click on the button for the list of all the days 
& topics thus far.}

{Day 9} Real Change: Just Pick One Thing



I swore off systems a year ago.


I no longer attempt sweeping change or even moderate change without a great deal of deliberation.


It’s not that I’m afraid; I’m just careful.


That’s because I used to be a change and resolutions junkie. And I often attempted too many new things at once. As soon as I fell off the wagon or the newness wore off and I quit, I felt like a failure.


More recently I took a hard look at the deep-down motivations for my constant urge to make changes. In many ways I felt that change = happiness or change = feeling better about myself or change = success.


Though I could talk about grace, I didn’t live out of the rich wellspring of grace. Instead I worked hard to be the best version of myself possible. 


{And all of this talk reminds me yet again of Emily’s book. If anything I’m saying here resonates with you, go buy her book. For more thoughts on that, click on my review here.}


I walk a different path now. It’s a kinder, gentler, more peaceful path. I’m led by One who loves me fully and unconditionally. Nothing changes that. 


Still, there are little changes here and there that I’m drawn to. They are different for all of us but many of my new endeavors have to do with running a home and raising kids. I don’t expect to do anything perfectly but if there are doable and beneficial tweaks I can make here and there, I’m willing to give them a try.


My motivations are different now. And if something doesn’t work, I don’t beat myself up. 


Also? I make one change at a time now. Just one. I wish I’d done it this way a long time ago. 


In light of all this, I thought I’d share my one change for this fall. 


Bread.


For years I’ve had this dream of making my own bread. In my dream world, I grind the grain before I bake it. Now I know lots of people make homemade bread regularly but I have always been intimidated by anything requiring yeast and exactness. 


I‘m sort of haphazard when I cook. For me, recipes are simply a suggestion. But this has backfired time and again with bread. I have killed more loaves than I’ve successfully baked. 


Seriously, who has the time and concentration to be so precise?


But still, the bread thing called to me.


I decided I’d try to go for a week making homemade bread and not buying sandwich bread. I found an easy recipe that doesn’t use stuff I’ve never bought. It slices thin and is perfect for toast and sandwiches. No hand-kneading involved, just my Kitchen Aid dough hook.


Well, one week turned into two and two weeks turned into four. It’s become so routine that it no longer feels like work. 


And every time I take a loaf from the oven, I smile. Every time.


It’s been a good and worthwhile change.


That’s how I roll these days. One small change at a time. Homemade bread may last forever or it may last another month. But at least I gave it a try and found that it can work for us. 


It’s a tiny outward example of some big inward change. 


Begin with Grace. Pick one thing. See what happens.


How do you approach real change?



{Click on the button for the list of all the days 
& topics thus far.}

{Day 8} A Song About Really Living



My mom called Thursday morning to tell me about a song she’d heard and how it reminded her of me and of my story. She thought it would be perfect for me to listen to in light of this 31 Days to Real series.


I love Sara Groves and I’d heard this song on Pandora but had never really listened to the words that carefully.


Well, if I had to choose an autobiographical song, this would certainly be at the top of the list.


It’s about the difference between living and really living. 


Maybe you can relate.


In the remaining 24 days we have together, I’ll share some about my own journey from living to really living. I hope you’ll come with me.


I thought this song would be the perfect segue from week one to week two of my series.


Click here to listen to Sara Groves’s I Just Showed Up for My Own Life. 


{Just minimize the mp3 screen and you can you can read her amazingly awesome lyrics while you listen.}

Spending my time sleep walking
Moving my mouth but not saying a thing
Hoping the changes would take by working their way from the outside in
I was in love with an idea
Preoccupied with how a life should appear
Spending my time at the surface repairing the holes in the shiny veneer


There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real


And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright


I’m going to live my life inspired
Look for the holy in the common place
Open the windows and feel all that’s honest and real until I’m truly amazed
I’m going to feel all my emotions
I’m going to look you in the eyes
I’m going to listen and hear until it’s finally clear and it changes our lives


There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real


And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright


Oh the glory of God is man fully alive
Oh the glory of God is man fully alive


There are so many ways to hide
There are so many ways not to feel
There are so many ways to deny what is real


And I just showed up for my own life
And I’m standing here taking it in and it sure looks bright



{Click on the button for the list of all the days 
& topics thus far.}

{Day 7} Real Motherhood: Feast on Today



Today I leave you with my last post for the mamas: Feast on Today.


I’m at that stage of motherhood when the bizarre and the comical collide on a daily basis. It’s so familiar that sometimes I don’t even notice the wonderful ridiculous right in front of my eyes.  


Mom, what’s taller? Three T-Rex’s stacked on top of one another or a skyscraper?


Does hot wax melt other hot wax?


Mom, I’m practicing cursive. Do you know what my favorite word to write in cursive is? Maggots. 


Honestly, I don’t know whether to cringe, cry, or roll on the floor laughing.


From random queries to scary heads stuck to bathroom mirrors,



Lego explosions and Sharpie Monet on the walls,



life right now is a feast of the random, the ridiculous, the real.


Sometimes it feels as if life is mundane. Where is the glory in sippy cups and toothpaste globs?


Sometimes it looks like a circus. Where is visual peace in the midst of three kids, a million legos and dishes that refuse to wash themselves?


Sometimes it feels overwhelming. When will they stop being so messy and needing so much?


One day I’ll have only glassware in the cupboards, clean sinks, and vacuumed floors with nary a lego in sight. The dishes will be easier to keep up with and my kids’ neediness will come in the form of phone calls from college or from their own homes when someone needs a recipe from good ol’ mom.


And while that will be a beautiful season in its own right, it’s a far cry from the noisy, bursting-with-life, peppered-with-crazy-questions, toy-strewn days I get to live right now. 


You have to choose to see it this way of course. I’m not always so good at choosing to savor and smile and notice. But I’m getting better. Like all worthwhile habits, it takes practice.


In this case, practice doesn’t make perfect. Practice makes joy.

…………………………………..


I’ve written for 7 days in a row on motherhood. I hope that just maybe you’ve felt inspired to recapture some of the mama joy that comes simply from trusting your instincts or noticing who they’re becoming or knowing that the little things matter most. 

Real motherhood is about embracing this journey of raising kids one day at at time, leaving fretfulness behind and walking in Grace. 

Tomorrow I begin some new stuff. I’m excited. Join me?



{Click on the button for the list of all the days 
& topics thus far.}

{Day 6} Real Motherhood: Teach Them What You Know


There are skills you have, stories you can tell, knowledge you can share. 

Maybe you do these things for a living. Maybe you minister to others with your creative gifts.

But let me ask you something. Do you share yourself with your children?

I didn’t until recently.

I felt that I had to put some sort of systematic plan in place. I thought that I needed extra resources, a schedule, a routine.

I don’t know a lot about many things. But I know a lot about a few things. Isn’t that true for all of us? 

Though my oldest is 10, I didn’t become a stay-at-home mom until 4 1/2 years ago. Before then I worked at a 4-year liberal arts college. It was a great job. I taught American History. I worked with college freshmen to help them discover their gifts and build community. I gave tours of a local historic site and never tired of telling its 150-year-old stories. 

In my spare time {of which there was little}, I read and took pictures and journaled in scrapbooks. I dabbled in all sorts of creative.

When I left my job and began teaching my children at home, there was a disconnect between what I’d done professionally and what I shared with my own kids.

People often said to me, “Oh you’ll be a great homeschooler! I bet your kids will just love history!” And no one believed me when I said that I wasn’t teaching as much history as I’d like, that I struggled to teach what I know to my own kids. 

Because of my perfectionistic tendencies, I felt that if I couldn’t do things systematically and creatively {as I did in the classroom}, I couldn’t do them at all.

But something clicked this fall. I realized the ridiculousness of my thought patterns. The truth is, I can teach American history to children without a book or syllabus in sight. I can tell stories and answer questions and explain how this idea relates to that event. 

And I was keeping it all to myself. 

Once or twice a week the kids and I pile on the sofas with a few library books and I simply talk to them about what I know. I use pictures from the books and I read a few excerpts here and there. I answer their questions. 

I don’t have an actual lesson plan for history. We don’t follow up with cute hands-on activities. I’ve realized I don’t need those things. I move chronologically and we learn through conversation. It’s fun for all of us and I’ve wondered why I didn’t start this years ago.

Whether you homeschool or send your kids to school, whether you work outside the home or stay at home, you have the opportunity to share yourself with your kids, to teach them a little about the things you love and know something about.


It doesn’t have to be academic. This transference of what I know has begun to seep into other areas as well. I’m teaching Blondie some basic photography skills with my camera. No plan. No rules. When we’re out and about and I’m taking pictures, I let her take some too. 

I’m letting them {one at a time} help in the kitchen more. No plan. No rules. When I’m cooking and they’re interested, I just explain what I’m doing and let them pitch in.

And when they have questions about God and truth, when they’re struggling with the “realness” of it all, I tell them my own story. 

I tell them how I struggled too…and how I still struggle. But I also tell them that God made Himself real to me and then I pray that He’ll make Himself real to them too. No plan. No rules. Just an honest sharing of where I’ve been and how He’s brought me to a beautiful place of faith.

Maybe you get excited about math or bread-baking or painting. Perhaps you were {or still are} a scientist or nurse or librarian. Whatever you love, wherever you’ve been, don’t keep it from the most important people in your world: your children.

Teach them what you know.

…………………………

“Education is a life.”

Susan Schaeffer Macaulay





{Click on the button for the list of all the days 
& topics thus far.}

{Day 5} Real Motherhood: Notice the Becoming

crayon

Her mind will be an endless stream of creativity, ideas and how-to’s. She will create beauty in some form, maybe many forms. She will have fierce convictions about fairness and truth. She will doubt and question and ask why until her days on earth are through.

 

His wife will always know she’s beautiful and loved. Others will know him as an encourager and affirmer, a glass-half-full guy. He will be an information hound, a lover of news, a purveyor of the written word.

snow cone
He will be a force to be reckoned with. And that is all I know at this point. It’s only been three years.

Every day they are becoming who they will one day be. If you pay attention now, you’ll get glimpses of the future. It’s one of my favorite pastimes as a mother. The noticing. I love to drink in their quirks, nuances, and gifts. I try to pay attention to their struggles, oversights, and pitfalls. And while I know I have a role in shaping who they will one day be, the real deciding happened before they even got here. Someone Else knit them together. It’s my job to simply appreciate, protect, and nurture the handiwork.

With each passing day of motherhood, I realize that it’s less about getting it right and setting them on the path to “success” and more about knowing who they are and helping them know it too.

They are becoming right before your eyes. What do you see?

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{Day 4} Real Motherhood: It’s the Small Stuff




I often feel guilty that I’m not doing enough as a mother.

I don’t actually play with my kids that often.

When they all want to help in the kitchen, I become easily stressed out and tend to shoo them away.

I love crafts and I love my kids but I’ve realized that I don’t love doing crafts with my kids.

They each have a baby book but I’ve done nothing in the way of scrapbooks or photo albums beyond their baby years. I fear that one day they’ll think I didn’t love them after the age of 2.

Sometimes Brownie falls asleep before I even get to his bed to pray and say goodnight.

Too many days I am short-tempered, preoccupied, and annoyed.

Even though I know better, I still look at other mamas who do more to keep their kids well-rounded, well-dressed, well-managed and well-educated and feel like I’m just not cutting it.

Grace keeps me afloat and reminds me of what’s true. But sometimes I forget. I wonder if I’m doing all that I should be doing.  

If you’re a mama, you probably have your own list.

Several years ago my mom e-mailed me a list entitled, The Top 10 Things Children Really Want Their Parents to Do With Them. For some reason it resonated with me and I still think about this list on a regular basis.

I don’t normally post lists. I’m not big on formulas or “7 Habits” or anything that you can numerate and check off in order to be or feel more successful. Lists and how-to’s sort of undermine the theme of my series. 

But I like this list.

A teacher gave the same Mother’s Day assignment to her students every year for many years. She taught in the U.S. but also abroad. Over the years and regardless of the country, many of the answers were recurrent. She asked her students to give her advice on being a mother. They were to consider the things their parent(s) did that made them feel “happy or loved.”

Here’s what they said:

1. Comes into my bedroom at night, tucks me in and sings me a song. She also tells me stories about when she was little.
2. Give me hugs and kisses and sit and talk with me privately.
3. Spend quality time just with me, not with my brothers and sisters around.
4. Give me nutritious food so I can grow up healthy.
5. At dinner talk about what we could do together on the weekend.
6. At night talk to me about about anything; love, school, family etc.
7. Let me play outside a lot.
8. Cuddle under a blanket and watch our favorite TV show together.
9. Discipline me. It makes me feel like you care.
10. Leave special messages in my desk or lunch bag.

The teacher says that:

Children are incredibly wise and tend to see the world more simply than we do. Perhaps it is time we start taking their advice. Maybe we would all feel a little less stressed and be satisfied with the fact that doing little things really is… good enough.

{Here’s the link to the full article.} 


I can’t vouch for the validity of the list or for the accuracy of her sample student population. And of course I don’t do everything on the list but that’s not really the point. 

I simply love the reminder that the little things are actually the big things in the eyes of a child. And you’ll notice that material things and “well-roundedness” didn’t even make the list.



I haven’t given this assignment to my own kids but I want to.

What are the simple things that meant the most to you as a child? What are the simple things that mean a lot to your own children?

…………………………………


If you’re curious about the rest of the 31 days, I’m planning to finish up “Real Motherhood” this week and then move on to a variety of other “real” topics. I’ll finish the series with “Real Marriage”…unless I change my mind and just switch it all up. Sometimes I am real indecisive.

{Click on the button for the list of all the days 
& topics thus far.}


{Day 3} Real Motherhood: Gently Led





My sweet friend, Sarah, came over for coffee last week. Years ago she and three of her college friends came to my place on Sunday nights for conversation, prayer, and a book study. We dished about drama, boys, far-off dreams, and far-away places. 


Now Sarah is a wife and a mama. These days we dish about marriage and other topics that are slightly more grown-up. Last week we chatted about facebook and blogs and how easy it is to spend time reading about the lives of others instead of just living our own. 


We talked about the pros and cons of all the great mommy blogs out there and then Sarah said something very wise: Maybe I should just be the mom.


I became a mom before facebook and blogs. But as I mentioned yesterday, I spent countless hours reading books and looking up stuff on the internet. I probably spent more time seeking wisdom on how to mother her than I spent simply being the mother. 


I was fearful and anxious and tired. I was also desperate for the wisdom of older, wiser women who could point me in the right direction.


That’s a good thing, a Biblical thing. I am eternally grateful for the encouragement and teaching I have received from those who have gone before me. God has used them to sustain me during difficult days and to point me to truth when I was an anxious wreck. He is still using them in my life and I’m so grateful.


But I’ve realized that I can become dependent on the sufficiency of others’ wisdom to the exclusion of God’s sufficiency in my own life.


Five years ago I simply could not make a decision about school for Blondie. We’d had a wonderful year of Kindergarten at public school. Why in the world would I mess with what was working? 


But something in my heart kept tugging me towards home. I’d gone from working full-time to staying home full-time during that year. I was curious to know what living and learning at home together might be like. 


But I was terrified. I was afraid it would be disastrous for both of us. 


August rolled around and I still had not made a decision. It consumed me. Once again, I spent countless hours researching and list-making and talking to other mothers who were teaching their kids at home. My husband and I had prayed but still felt no clarity. 


One Sunday afternoon I ran into a woman who had encouraged and mentored me over the previous year. I told her I was absolutely paralyzed from making a decision about school. Instead of telling me what to do or sharing her own opinion, she simply said, Well what is God’s Word saying to you about this?


I didn’t know what to make of that question. Was she implying that there was some secret verse in the Bible I had never come across? Did the Bible actually say, Thou shalt homeschool?


Of course not. She simply asked if I had let God’s Word speak to me on this particular issue.


I had not.


But you better believe I went home and began praying over Scripture as I sought wisdom for this particular decision. Two days later I had my answer. It came to me in Psalm 25 which has nothing to do with school. But this passage spoke to my specific fears and concerns. I wept with relief and thankfulness. 


The sufficiency of God’s Word and the leading of the Holy Spirit became very real to me that day. 


I wish I could say that I always start there when I have a decision to make or need wisdom for a specific parenting situation. I don’t. But I’m learning to. 


James 1:5 reminds me to seek the Father’s wisdom in all things: If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.


He is so very generous with his wisdom and I am so very lacking. But the more I ask, the more I receive. It’s such a sacred and beautiful exchange.


And it’s just another example of how upside-down and inside-out His ways are. As I mother these children, I actually become more like a child in my dependence on the Father.

He tends his flock like a shepherd: 
   He gathers the lambs in his arms 
and carries them close to his heart; 
   he gently leads those that have young.
{Isaiah 40:11}
………………………….


{Click on the button for the list of all the days 
& topics thus far.}


………………………………….

This post also linked up with my friend, Richella, at Imparting Grace.
Imparting Grace

{Day 2} Real Motherhood: The Overthinking Mama



The day I found out I was pregnant, I did not run to Baby Gap for a layette or call my mom or scribble down my emotions in a journal. 

I went to the public library.

I checked out a mountain of books on pregnancy and babyhood and began studying. 

Studying! Because I was pregnant.

I had stuff to learn, parenting philosophies to choose, decisions to make. To co-sleep or not to co-sleep? To feed on demand or to feed on a schedule? To deliver naturally or to have the epidural?

I was elated and exhausted when I brought Blondie home. I was also as confused as ever. I couldn’t seem to find the solutions or philosophies that fit me or that fit my sleepless, intense baby. I felt as if I needed to belong to some sort of parenting camp and that I should be that mom all the way. 

I never found my camp.

Blondie usually slept with me {when she slept at all.} She was sort of on a feeding schedule {except when she wasn’t.} I held her when that made her happy and put her down with toys when she seemed tired of being held and I just knew that all of my inconsistency would ruin her. 

As time went by I continued in my “studies.” I kept reading books and continued to try and find my niche as a mama. 

I remember asking my own mom whether she nursed on demand or on a schedule, whether she was more of an attachment parent or the opposite of that. She told me that she fed us when we were hungry and that she didn’t really remember giving any of it a great deal of thought. 

And then she lovingly told me that perhaps I was reading too many books.

I wondered how a woman as intelligent as my mother did not have a philosophy about these things. 

She simply trusted her instincts. 

Having raised four children from newborn to adulthood, she also had the gift of perspective. From her vantage point, babies simply needed love, food, and sleep. Why fret over all the rest?

I’ve been a mom now for nearly 11 years and I still feel like a novice. But thankfully a few things have crystallized for me recently. Had I not endured such a long period of fretfulness and insecurity, I certainly wouldn’t be able to appreciate the relative clarity and {dare I say?} budding confidence that I have now.

Want to know the big secret?

Trust your instincts. Know that God created you to be the mama to the child or children He’s blessed you with. Why wouldn’t He equip you for the sacred role He designed you to fulfill?

Tomorrow I’ll unpack this a bit more and share what this looks like in real life.

………………………………………..


31 Days of Real {Day 1}: A Real Invitation

31 Days of Real {Day 1}: An Invitation

Sidebar Button - 31 Days Real 
A 31-day series from 2011 in which I give you {and me} permission to live with realness and freedom in everything from motherhood and marriage to home and rest. 

{Day 1}: A Real Invitation
{Day 2} Real Motherhood: The Overthinking Mama
{Day 3} Real Motherhood: Gently Led
{Day 4} Real Motherhood: It’s the Small Stuff
{Day 5} Real Motherhood: Notice the Becoming
{Day 6} Real Motherhood: Teach Them What You Know
{Day 7} Real Motherhood: Feast on Today
{Day 8} A Song for Really Living
{Day 9} Real Change: Just Pick One Thing
{Day 10} Real Writing
{Day 11} Mom-Jeans and Miniskirts: What’s a Real Mom to Wear?
{Day 12} Keep It Real. Wear It Well. 
{Day 13} Real Meals Part I: The Contemplative Cook
{Day 14} Real Meals Part II: For Real Meals
{Day 15} My Real House
{Day 16} Real Rest: An Invitation
{Day 17} Real Rest: A Reason
{Day 18} Real Rest: A Practice
{Day 19} Real Home: Living Large in a Small Space
{Day 20} Real Home: Double-Duty
{Day 21} Real Home: You Won’t Remember, I Promise
{Day 22} A Real “Disorder” {sort of}: Reading Guilt
{Day 23} And on the 23rd day, she rested. Really.
{Day 24} Real Marriage Part 1: Am I Really Doing This?
{Day 25} Real Marriage Part 2: When You’re Struggling
{Day 26} Real Marriage Part 3: On Little Things
{Day 27} Real Marriage Part 4: The Myth of Quality Time
{Day 28} Real Marriage Part 5: Laugh It Up
{Day 29} Real Marriage Part 6: Get Back to Dreaming
{Day 30} Real Marriage Part 7: Choose Life, Even When It’s Falling Apart
{Day 31} Why Real?
………………………
 
Day 1: A Real Invitation



The world is full of advice on how to be better and I’ve always had a tendency to drink it up. 

 
Walk through any checkout line in America and you’ll see an array of glossy magazine covers touting all the ways you can be more than you currently are. 
 
You can be a better mom, a better homemaker, a better meal planner, a better manager of money, a better friend. You can have a better body, a better home, a better garden, and a better retirement plan. Morning news segments and afternoon talk shows deliver more of the same. 
 
Go to your book club, PTA meeting, homeschool conference, sister’s house, Bible study or child’s soccer game and you’ll probably hear or overhear someone giving advice about something or exhibiting their “better-ness” in one way or another. 
 
Lest you think I’m cynical towards everything from book clubs to my sister, I assure you that’s not the case. I love magazines, the Today Show and blogs. I’ll listen with rapt attention to anyone who’s an “expert” and I get the best ideas from family and girlfriends all the time. 
 
I’m simply stressing the point that our poor brains are inundated with advice and information and how-to’s all the time. Without even realizing it, we can easily believe that we’re not capable enough to function on our own as we should. 
 
It’s hard to just be.
 
When I was newly married I subscribed to Martha Stewart Living. Oh how I loved all things Martha. I read article after article on exactly when to clean your baseboards and how to plan the perfect birthday party and the only way to make a flaky pie-crust.
 
I felt inspired to do everything just right. And then I felt guilty because I couldn’t measure up to those Martha standards. I internalized magazines and expert advice and then drafted ridiculous standards for myself.
 
I’m embarrassed to admit that but it’s true. 
 
What I really needed was permission to be me. I needed someone to say: You know what? The Martha Stewart in the magazine is not necessarily the real Martha. And she has an army of people to help her do all of that stuff. And she’s going to jail in a few years. 
 
I still peruse Martha Stewart Living but now I simply enjoy the pretty pictures and appreciate the recipes, even though I never make any of them. 
 
In this 31-day series, I give you permission to be real. {And permission to clean your dryer vent during the wrong month. Or not at all.}
 
No, this isn’t going to be 31 days to reckless, slothful, irresponsible hedonism. It’s not 31 days to relativism or 31 days to apathy. I’m not an anarchist and I’ve never gone to jail. 
 
I just talk to so many women who are trying to live a life that’s not really theirs to live, who are trying to force their square selves into round lives or vice versa. 
  
We’ll talk about how being our real, authentic, God-created selves translates into everyday life. I’m planning to write about real motherhood, real marriage, real life at home with kids and meals and mess, real thoughts about clothes and beauty and books. 
 
To quote from my last post,

My hope is that this series will inspire you to embrace the life you actually have instead of the one you wish you had or the one you feel like you’ve settled for.  

I’m learning that beauty and acceptance and redemption can bloom full in the midst of messy and crazy and broken. 

Sometimes it’s about unrealistic expectations. Sometimes it’s about choosing to see things differently. Always, it’s about grace and grace gives birth to freedom and joy. 



Daily I struggle to overcome conformity, expectation, doubt, and insecurity. This series is my story and my ongoing journey. I hope you’ll come with me. 
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Marian Vischer

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