Day 19: Learning to Take a One-Day Rest from Worry

You may not have noticed but my Sunday posts offer a message of rest. Practicing rest {and I’m still very much learning} has been a life-changing discipline for me, one I wish I’d learned much earlier in life.

Sundays are a day of rest and worship for our family. It’s also a day of departure from the work and rhythms of the other six days. I’m figuring out, ever so slowly, what that looks like for me. But part of it is this: I practice not worrying about the things that concern me the other six days. That makes it sound easy, like I just flip a switch. It’s really not that simple but it is becoming more of a habit over time as my body, mind, and spirit slip into a quiet, unhurried, “it’ll be there tomorrow” sort of place.

If you’re reading this series with me, perhaps school is one of those things that concerns you too much of the time. Maybe you’re in a place of insecurity or indecision. I get it.

Today, as I’ve done the other two Sundays in this series, I invite you to rest from those concerns. The issues will be there tomorrow but by taking a break today, you’ll be better equipped to greet them on Monday.

If you need some restful encouragement, here are the other Sunday posts from the series.

A Call to Rest

How to Rest Right Where You Are

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For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

Don’t want to miss a post in the series? You can subscribe and have each post delivered right to your inbox. As always, you may unsubscribe any time you like. {I promise not to sell your address to pirates, aliens, spammers, or The Gap.}

Day 18: A Few Wise Words from Maya Angelou’s Mother

Ignorance can be more than simple unawareness. Tossed out into the world, it can explode like a grenade but with much more damage. And Illiteracy doesn’t simply apply to unintelligible words on a page. It speaks to specific inability or lack, often due to circumstances beyond one’s control.

How quick we can be to judge both, and to deny their presence in our own lives.

In light of Ms. Angelou’s mother’s insightful words, might I offer a few companion words of hope for us all?

When we encounter ignorance — others’ our our own — may truth show up with grace and love.
May our privilege not corrupt our compassion.
And may we learn from the intelligent others who are a rare gift to us all, even if the educated world pays them no heed.

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I hope you enjoy the loveliest of fall weekends.

Here are the posts from this week.

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For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

Day 17. God Uses It All: A Case Study of Moses’s Education

To read Part 1, go here.

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We love a story like Moses’s —

A baby born into humble beginnings and sentenced to die, simply for being a boy.

An infant plucked from the jaws of death by a princess and raised in a palace.

A voice for the oppressed, arrogant though he was at the beginning.

A righteous man who still sinned.

A royal son who fled for his life and lived in obscurity for 40 years.

A once wannabe leader who, when finally called into big-time service for God forty years later, begged to get out of it.

We love Moses because he was human and ordinary, just like us. Yet God used him for divine and extraordinary purposes.

Yesterday we explored the educational path of Moses, how his parents used those crucial early years when he lived with them to teach about Jehovah and provide a religious education. But his parents had to release their young child yet again when it was time for Moses to be received as an adopted son into the royal Egyptian palace, a palace that was at the center of knowledge in the ancient world.

And yet completely pagan.

To quote from yesterday,

God used godless people for the formal education of one of the greatest leaders the world has ever known.
And he would need it.

Moses’s story reminds us that God not only supersedes educational paths, he uses each educational path — whether “faith-based” or “pagan” — for his divine purposes. The culture that educated Moses for decades was also the culture he would one day confront as he advocated for the release of God’s people from Egyptian slavery. The most sophisticated diplomats and ambassadors even today could only hope for the type of pedigree that God provided Moses.

You see, our paths are our preparation.

And if we truly believe this, we must ask ourselves a difficult question: who are we to dictate which ways are legitimate and usable?

Too many Christians are quick to discount any education where God has been removed. But that sort of thinking makes us much bigger than we really are and makes God much smaller than He really is. It limits the scope of his redemptive work.

Also? God is not so easily removed.

Rooted in polytheistic idolatry, Moses lived in a culture that would make our heads spin today. If ever we’d rush to homeschool or private school in the name of protecting our children, surely it would be in that situation. But Moses’s parents didn’t have that option.

So God used the palace — with all of its occult practices and unbelief in the one true God — to preserve and prepare Moses for all that was to come.

And God used the brief years young Moses had with his family of origin — a blip on the radar screen of his life — to carve a Hebrew identity into his spirit, to plant the seeds of faith. And it was enough, even against the godless winds that surely buffeted his faith throughout the ensuing decades. It was enough because God is enough.

With God at the helm, it is all sacred. With God at the helm, we begin to see that the sacred / secular divide is a false dichotomy.

Whether in a mathematical equation that invites us to a deeper understanding of the universe, or a work of art that invites us to a deeper understanding of ourselves, the Good, the Beautiful, and the True — they all find their source in God. He is the creator, the architect, the origin. We can declare him as truth or declare him as myth, but we nonetheless bear his image and so does our work in the world — our science, our literature, our math, our art, our myriad vocations.

Let the long-ago life of Moses speak truth and encouragement into our modern struggles today. God is the same. He leads and equips his people through more ways than we can imagine. This means we can do a lot less stressing and a lot more trusting. We can believe that God will use the path we’ve chosen for our children in ways that far surpass our imaginations.

He is always bigger.

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How has your own educational path and life experience prepared you in unique ways?

For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here. And to read the other posts I’ve written on topic of schooling, you can go here and find them all in one place.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

Day 16: Case Study — Moses {Part 1}

Yesterday was the brief introduction to today’s post. It’s useful to learn about the educational paths of others, particularly those in history who have been people of influence. How did their education prepare them? My thoughts are simple and not all that profound. But like plenty of important and obvious truths, idealism tends to steamroll what we know, burying common sense underground. I’m simply excavating what’s already there.

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If you grew up in church or remember what you were taught in 6th grade world history, the story of Moses is likely familiar. Like a lot of Sunday School kids, I remember the flannel-graph basket and felt cut-outs of a baby, sister Miriam, and the one-dimensional Nile River.

But I never studied the life of Moses in-depth until this year through BSF. Within the first few weeks I was struck by something I’d never considered — the story of Moses’s education. That’s the remarkable thing about the Word of God. It has a way of speaking into our lives right where we sit. And right now I happen to be sitting, thinking, and writing a lot about the ways we choose to teach our children.

{For the backstory on Moses, go here. And I’m sorry but I cannot tell this story without flannel-graph. Plus I had to know if you can still buy these sets. You can!}

Anyway, when Pharaoh’s daughter rescued Moses from the Nile River, his quick-thinking big sister offered a Hebrew “nurse” for the baby. As only God could orchestrate, the baby’s very own mother was privileged to nurse him and teach him in the early years of his life. Even though many of the Hebrews had forgotten their God and turned to Egyptian idol worship by this time, we know that Moses’s family was not among them. They feared the Lord and taught him about God. Because they knew their days with this young child were numbered, perhaps they had a sense of urgency and diligence with his instruction.

Finally the day came when Moses’s parents had to live by faith yet again. But instead of handing him over to the potential perils of the Nile River, they handed him over to the potential perils of a pagan upbringing. Surely they sensed that God’s hand was upon Moses in a special way.

As he left the care of his Hebrew mother to become the son of Pharaoh’s daughter, Moses went from a religious education in a humble Hebrew home to a pagan education in a royal Egyptian palace.

Egypt at this time was a wealthy, sophisticated kingdom. As a center of knowledge, Egypt was richly steeped in literature, language, the arts, science, and mathematics. Scripture tells us that Moses was instructed in all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and he was mighty in his words and deeds.

That’s the part that blindsided me as if I’d never heard the story before:

God used godless people for the formal education of one of the greatest leaders the world has ever known.

And he would need it.

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Part 2 will pick up with this leaves off. The writer in me would love to keep it all in one post. The 31-dayer in me promised you dear readers a smaller word count.

What about you? Do you know someone, famous or otherwise, whose unique educational path prepared them for a life of influence? Or how has your own educational path prepared you in unique ways? I’d love to know.

For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here. And to read the other posts I’ve written on topic of schooling, you can go here and find them all in one place.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

Day 15: The Divine Intersection of Education and Preparation

Newer readers may not know this about me but I taught American History in a former life. And while I’m no longer neck-deep in history books and lecture prep and writing papers for grades, I’ll always have an affinity for the people, ideas, and movements that have shaped our culture and the many ways we tell stories about our past. {I want to be Ken Burns in my next life. And a buyer for Anthropologie. And also a professional ice-cream taster.}

To love history is to love becoming deeply acquainted with people. You read their diaries. Literally. You look for embedded clues in their past. You get to be curious about everything from their families of origin to their love lives to the way they were educated. And while I no longer pursue this craft professionally, I enjoyed the years that allowed me to learn about the various and sundry people who have gone before us.

It’s long been fascinating to me that so many influential people — from Biblical times to our current day — have been educated in myriad ways. And that the type of education they had seemed to directly impact the influence they carried into the world. I know, it sounds like I’m stating the obvious. Of course education impacts a life in specific ways. But too often we’re quick to settle on or single out a certain way as “best.” We have all sorts of categories: sacred, secular, public, private, classical, modern, hands-on, interest-led, one-room schoolhouse. And that’s just the tiniest tip of the iceberg.

Here’s my very obvious and very unscientific observation:

All sorts of people have risen to greatness {not that greatness is our goal for ourselves or our children} through an array of educational paths throughout the ages.

For those of us who struggle with how we educate our children, this should encourage us deep down in our bones. In our quest to find “the right way,” history reminds us that there are so many ways. And God reminds us that He’s not only bigger than all of the ways, He uses all of the ways for distinct and amazing purposes.

Perhaps you’ve guessed where I’m going with this. The next few days we’ll step back into history and examine several different people and how God used their education, all very different from one another, to accomplish his remarkable work.

Don’t worry, no tests, papers, or mandatory discussion. All you have to do is show up. Here’s a clue for tomorrow: he’s from the Old Testament and he did a bit of time in a basket down by the river.

Join me?

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What person, famous or otherwise, has an interesting educational past?

For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here. And to read the other posts I’ve written on topic of schooling, you can go here and find them all in one place.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

Don’t want to miss a post in the series? You can subscribe and have each post delivered right to your inbox. As always, you may unsubscribe any time you like.

{I promise not to sell your address to pirates, aliens, spammers, or The Gap.}

Day 14: When Hardship is Fertile Ground for a Brighter Future

Yesterday morning I listened to a story on NPR on my rainy drive to the middle school. The interviewers were talking to Dr. Jennifer Doudna, a scientist responsible for ground-breaking genetics work. They asked the sorts of questions most interviewers ask people who have arrived at a place of greatness. How did you get here? What sort of education did you have? Her answers were rather unremarkable and that’s why I loved them.

During her elementary years her family moved to Hawaii. She stuck out like a sore thumb with her white skin, tall body, bigger nose, blonde hair, and non-Asian features. She was an insecure new girl without friends. The public library became her resting place as she found solace and friendship among the books. Science books coaxed out her natural interests. Without friends and fitting in, she had copious time for books about plants and flowers. The misfit girl was a biologist in the making and her less-than-ideal school circumstances laid down the path for her future.

This part of the story wasn’t the focus of the interview but it was certainly the most fascinating part to me, someone who’s very curious about the ways our individual paths — whether by design or default — bear fruit in the world.

If that scientist girl was my child or your child and we knew that she had no friends, that school was perhaps dreadful as a result, we’d do something about it. And quick. Perhaps we’d homeschool or find a private school, any place where she could be happy and well-adjusted. But Dr. Doudna doesn’t seem sad about it now. She acknowledges the painfulness of those years but she also acknowledges the gifts within them. The gifts that have since opened up world-changing possibility to cure diseases in the not so distant future.

We all have our stories. Many of us would probably rewrite whole sections if we could. But I’m willing to bet that each one of us can look at the tougher things that have shaped us and acknowledge the grace hidden beneath the hardship. Perhaps some of the difficult chapters we’ve lived motivate us to want something different for our own kids. And that’s okay. It’s normal to want to spare our children from hardship. It’s natural to desire an education and an educational experience that opens wide the doors of opportunity and joy.

When I got the call from the front office {again} this morning that a really important thing was left at home and could I bring it, I reluctantly said, No. I’m sorry but my child is going to have to absorb the consequences.

We’ve been in a season of irresponsibility and even though it pains me, I’m knowingly giving my own child over to a rough day — made even rougher because the lunchbox was left at school yesterday which means that today’s fare is tied up in an embarrassing plastic grocery bag. {Please tell me I am not the worst mom ever.}

Maybe the rough day will spark remembrance next time. That’s the hope. Or maybe it will backfire, settling down on my well-intentioned self in a cloud of ash and resentment.

That’s the thing about parenting — it’s more art than science. All I know is that I have to be there with love, sympathy, and compassion, even when my own decisions — right or wrong — are partly responsible for the hardship.

The point is this. We want to spare our children from every hard thing. But we need to wisdom to know when the hard things are actually the right things. We won’t always know.

Perhaps the zero on the assignment becomes the spark that ignites the slow burn toward responsibility.

Perhaps the pain of always being the last one to finish the test matures into a quiet confidence that knows we each have our own pace.

Perhaps the solitary and seemingly fruitless days of one-on-one teaching at home grow the frustrated dyslexic into an accomplished writer.

Sometimes the lonely days at the library become fertile ground for the budding scientist who will grow up to change the world.

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What hard experience during your own school years has perhaps shaped you for the better?

For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here. And to read the other posts I’ve written on topic of schooling, you can go here and find them all in one place.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

Don’t want to miss a post in the series? You can subscribe and have each post delivered right to your inbox. As always, you may unsubscribe any time you like. I promise not to sell your address to pirates, aliens, spammers, or The Gap.

Day 13: TWO simple ways to do school {and life} on purpose.

Yesterday I talked about resting wherever you are. “Rest” is a really a state of mind, a state of peace, trust, and gratitude even when circumstances aren’t the way you want them to look.

Today is a continuation of that message. So often with decisions about school, our mind and anxious energy gets fixated on the future at the expense of the opportunities just waiting for us today. I’d like to offer two simple ways to be more purposeful right where you are.

1. Appreciate what you have.

If you’re homeschooling right now, appreciate that it’s time together. Be grateful for the flexibility. Appreciating the unique gifts of learning together at home can boost your spirits in the rough moments. Take advantage of what your day can look like precisely because you homeschool and don’t feel guilty about it.

If you send your kids to private or public school, appreciate that you’re not shouldering all of the burden of your kids’ education. Be grateful for the other teachers in your kids’ lives. They’re a gift and a help. Celebrate the space that you get from your dear children — to rest or to work or to focus on your younger children — especially if it allows all of you to come back together again a bit more ready for relationship or provides the luxury of using the bathroom without an audience.

2. Be mindful of what you don’t have and live accordingly.

If you’re homeschooling, chances are there’s not much time for just you and your thoughts to peacefully hang out, especially if there’s a little one at your feet eating a Cheez-It they found under the hutch from two years ago while a big kid asks question about the existence of God when she’s supposed to be focused on math worksheets and the middle kid has snuck out the door to play golf in the backyard while still wearing his pajamas.

We all have different needs, different “sanity savers” that keep us afloat. Maybe it’s a nap, time with a good book, or the opportunity to go to the grocery alone with an extra hour built in for Starbucks or the thrift store. When you’re homeschooling on purpose, you have to maintain your sanity on purpose too. Being mindful of this, doing whatever it takes to renew yourself physically, emotionally, and spiritually — it’s non-negotiable.

If you send your kids to school, you may have flexible time during school hours or perhaps that’s when you go to your job. What you don’t have is a leisurely late afternoon or evening. You’re supervising homework, feeding people, and probably getting them to and from activities. This is what our current life looks like. And I have “sanity savers” that keep me afloat during this season too. Savers like my calendar, knowing what we’re doing for dinner ahead of time, and getting all of my work done {that requires the best of my brain} while they’re at school.

So much of this boils down to managing your time, energy, and needs in a way that keeps you somewhat balanced. To do this, you have to know yourself and your family in a way that’s honest and realistic, not wishful and idealistic. You also recognize that each decision carries with it certain assets and liabilities. Acknowledge the gifts that come with each option — like flexibility and time with little ones. But also acknowledge what each option doesn’t have — like time for recharging and clean toddler snacks.

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Don’t miss out on the life-giving renewal you need because you’ve failed to recognize what you don’t have and continue to live in a place of deprivation. You can live with intention wherever you are. It’ll still be messy and it’s not an exact science. Be there is such possibility when we do the life we’ve been given with purpose instead of passivity.

There’s no best way for everyone. But there is the place where you and your family sit right now. It may not be where you sit next year or even next month but it’s your place for today. Make the most of it. See the gifts and enjoy them to their fullest. And accept what you don’t have so that you can care for yourself and others in a way that’s sustainable.

What’s one of the ways you do life on purpose?

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For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here. And to read the other posts I’ve written on topic of schooling, you can go here and find them all in one place.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

Don’t want to miss a post in the series? You can subscribe and have each post delivered right to your inbox. As always, you may unsubscribe any time you like. I promise not to sell your address to pirates, aliens, spammers, or The Gap.

Day 12: How to Rest Right Where You Are

Maybe your mind won’t step whirring about next year. Maybe your mind won’t stop whirring about next month. Maybe you’re so fixated on the future that you can see the good gifts of today.

Even if homeschool is currently killing you…

Even though 7th grade homework is ruining her life {and yours}…

Even though the snotty girls won’t stop being mean and all of your efforts to equip your girl seem futile…

Even though he’s still not reading…

Even though tuition is wrecking your budget…

Even though everyone else thinks your decision is ridiculous…

For today, for this week, for right now — this is where you are. It may not be where you are in two months or next year but it’s your current place and your kids’ current place. And so you have a choice. You can wait to exhale when everything’s worked out and settled and as it should be. Or you can go ahead and exhale now.

I recommend the latter. Because there’s no guarantee that things will ever be like they “should be” in your mind. {Thanks Marian! How encouraging!} So you might be holding your breath a very long time. And while there is certainly hope that the current unrest, indecision, or hardship will one day settle down, there is still right now. The right now with all of its worries and what ifs about the future.

But here’s the thing about The Future. He’s a greedy villain who tries to steal all of the resources you need today and consume them for himself. And you let him do it. Much like Fear, The Future is a bully.

It’s okay to think ahead. It’s good to be wise and to plan. It’s fine to research and ask thoughtful questions. But are you being driven by Fear and controlled by the Future at the expense of today? At the expense of soul rest? At the expense of physical rest?

Your kids need you to be present. For the moment, they need you to help with the math instead of helping with the math and simultaneously thinking “This teacher is ridiculous and this homework is too much and I’ve got to FIX THIS!”

They need you to love them this week in your crazy, chaotic homeschool and to just simply do the next thing and not be consumed about the big decision you need to make, one that might mean switching paths.

They need you to simply get them to school and make sure they have lunch and listen to whatever they may want to tell you about their day.

They need you to unfurrow your brow and just meet the demands of today. They need you to live in the right now.

But how? How do we do this simple, impossible thing?

Peace, present-ness, trust — they begin with gratitude.

So here’s a prayer, for you and for me and anyone who may need it today.

Thank you God for where we are. Thank you for the lessons we’ve learned through the sweet gifts and the hard situations. Thank you that we have options. Thank you that you promise to lead us. Thank you that even if we make a decision that doesn’t turn out to be fruitful, it’s not the end of the world. Decisions about school aren’t permanent and we can change our minds. Thank you that failure is information and not always devastation. Thank you for options {even though I’m so overwhelmed by them.} Thank you that there’s nothing you can’t redeem.

And thank you for these children. In the midst of the hard days and anxious decisions, I’ve forgotten to simply be grateful for them. They are a blessing. Help me to not to take them for granted. Help me to be present and to love them right where we are.

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This book has become a widely-read, modern classic and for good reason. I couldn’t stop thinking about Ann and the beautiful message of life-changing gratitude as I wrote the words of this post. If you haven’t read it, what a wonderful season to pick it up. A Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You are.

For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here. And to read the other posts I’ve written on topic of schooling, you can go here and find them all in one place.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

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Don’t want to miss a post in the series? You can subscribe and have each post delivered right to your inbox. As always, you may unsubscribe any time you like. I promise not to sell your address to pirates, aliens, spammers, or The Gap.

*book link is amazon affiliate

Day 11: Reads, Series Recap, and Soup

Happy Saturday, friends! I’m under the weather today and my brain feels a lot like my body.

So, here’s what I’m reading and a recap of the series so far. {Plus an easy Mexican soup because why not?}

We’re a third of the way through the Cool About School series. I have the rest of the days outlined and some of them roughly scrawled out but I welcome your ideas. Anything you’d really like to see me cover in the remaining twenty days?

I’m reading this book and you guys, it is so encouraging. I’m very sensitive to the “tone” of books about parenting and school. And this is a book with a tone of grace, goodwill, and hope. You won’t find self-righteousness, an air of know-it-all-ness, or exclusivity in this book. It’s simply straight-up encouragement for Christian families who choose to public school. It doesn’t try to persuade anyone that this is the way and it definitely doesn’t bash those who choose private school or homeschool.

The Prichards have spent their careers shaping the lives of young people through Young Life and community action. They also have eight children of their own. They write from experience is what I’m saying. And they’ve been proactive in helping their kids not just survive, but thrive in public school. I haven’t finished the book but so far, it’s been just the encouragement I’ve needed now that we’re three years into our own public school journey.

Going Public: Your Child Can Thrive in Public School by David and Kelly Pritchard [with Dean Merrill]

Here’s a quote from Chapter 1 that I love:

We are more convinced than ever before, after 18 years of public-school experiences with our children {and at least a dozen yet to go}, that God is bigger than the modern educational monolith. He is on the side of the children he created, and He is not nervous. He is sovereign, after all.
If Christian parents in the old Soviet Union, or in the anti-Christian nations of today, have managed to raise godly children despite the pressures of the hostile school system, we on this continent have little excuse. ‘The One who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world,’ wrote the apostle John, while living in a pagan, idol-worshiping Roman empire. [1 John 4:4]. This promise is still true in the twenty-first century.
How does God protect and nurture boys and girls in the public-school environment? What is his strategy for overcoming the difficulties they face? The main answer is this: parents. We who brought them into this world hold the keys to getting them safely through childhood and adolescence. God equips us — just ordinary moms and days — to equip and fortify our kids. In so doing, we set them up to face adulthood with strength and conviction. Starting in the very first classroom, our home, we teach them to be the influencers rather than the influenced.

What a breath of fresh air.

There’s not a single educational path we can choose that’s easy. There’s not a single path that works well for all of us. But for families who choose to “go public” — whether by design or by default — the Pritchards’ words and life story are such good news. They don’t offer guarantees; they simply offer hope. They tell their own story and it’s a beautiful one — real, honest, and experienced.

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I know it’s crazy to keep up with every single post for 31 days. {I can barely keep up myself.} So in case you’ve missed some that you’d like to go back and read, here they are.

May your weekend be one of renewal, encouragement, and hope. And if you’re under the weather like me, may it be one of Kleenex, cough drops, and satisfying soup.

By the way, here’s the one I made yesterday so that we can enjoy it all weekend and so that I won’t have to drag myself into the kitchen until Monday. It’s an EASY Mexican chicken soup — 20 minutes max. Rotisserie chicken from the deli. Any jar of salsa will do. Add the juice of one lime. And if you love soup as much as I do, here’s my Pinterest board dedicated to the glory and honor of soup.

Series recap:

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Again, I heartily welcome your questions and feedback about future posts you’d like to see.

For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here. And to read the other posts I’ve written on topic of schooling, you can go here and find them all in one place.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

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Don’t want to miss a post in the series? You can subscribe and have each post delivered right to your inbox. As always, you may unsubscribe any time you like. I promise not to sell your address to pirates, aliens, spammers, or The Gap.

*book link is amazon affiliate

Day 10: FIVE reasons to plug your ears and say, “I can’t hear you.”

Trying to made an informed decision about school is like walking into an arena filled with thousands of bossy and impassioned experts. It’s overwhelming. The voices are too many and too loud. Conversations are laced with everything from fear and self-righteousness to politics and religion. People invoke everything from the Constitution to classical education. Smart people with their big words and important books seem to have all the right answers.

So why do you still feel clueless?

School is a huge decision but you don’t have to be afraid. It’s okay to research and talk to others and listen to the voices that speak life-giving wisdom into your life. But when do you need to stop listening? When do you need to put your fingers in your ears and close your eyes and say to the world, “La, la, la, la, la. I can’t hear you.”

Here are five ways to know it’s time to stop listening to certain voices.

1. When the person tells you a certain way or model is the only way. And if they use the Bible to support this one and only way as God’s one and only way for all families, it’s okay to shut the book or leave the room or plug your ears.

God provides instruction to parents on raising children. He gives principles in Scripture. He even tells us what to teach them about the world, about wisdom, about Himself. God went so far as to send a Counselor who reminds us of Truth. But God does not provide a hard and fast educational model. Those who tell you otherwise are making Scripture say more than it actually says.

2. When the person promotes one way or model by disparaging other ways or models by contrast.

If someone tells you why homeschool is awesome but in order to make their case they need to tell you all the reasons why public school is not awesome, they’re highly biased toward their way.

3. When someone makes generalizations about alternative choices.

“Public school math doesn’t require kids to get the right answer anymore.”
“Homeschool parents are selfish because they only care about their kids instead of caring about all the kids.”
“Sending your Christian kids to public school is like committing spiritual suicide.”
“Private schools make kids entitled.”

No two public schools, private schools, or home-schools are alike. There’s brokenness and imperfection in all the ways. There’s beauty in all the ways too. Don’t listen to those who give all homeschoolers the same narrative or who speak of public education as though it’s a monolith. Differences abound, even within the “same kinds” of educational systems. Generalizations only reveal how out of touch someone is. It’s okay to stop listening.

4. When they use fear.

If someone tells you all the bad things that might happen to your children if you send them to this public school or a certain private school or homeschool them away from their peers, it’s time to plug your ears. That’s like listening to a fortune teller. And most of us would say that’s crazy. No one can predict your kids’ future. No one can guarantee anything.

Making fear-based decisions is common but it’s not fruitful. I’m still guilty of it at times but I’m learning to practice trust. Choose something because you want to choose it, not because you’re afraid of the alternatives. “Don’t take counsel from your fears.”

5. When they don’t take real life into consideration.

A method or model is only as good as those carrying it out and the context in which it stands. When a homeschool mom is battling clinical depression, when a marriage is struggling to survive, when one child is in decline because his special needs aren’t being met in the school system, when you can’t pay your bills — it’s time to get practical. Fast. If someone tells you that you can keep going down the path you’re on and that it will all work out, that’s not a wise voice.

Maybe this particular voice sounds a whole lot like your own. Are you telling yourself that you have to keep going in a certain way? Are you resolved to the path you’re own even though it’s no longer a fruitful or reasonable way to continue? Is real life pressing down hard but your list of rebuttals is keeping you in the fight unnecessarily?

Friends, this is not a decision to go off life support. This is a decision about school. And while it definitely matters, it doesn’t trump weightier issues like marriage, health, emotional stability, or even deep financial burdens.

My own story is one of clenched ideals and soldiering on. But when real life began bearing down on the ideal life to the point of suffocation, it was time to let a good thing go out of necessity. Though it felt like failure at the time, God used it to reroute us in ways that are actually grace.

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What would you add to the list? Which kind of voices conjure up fear instead of freedom?

For all the posts in this 31-day series, go here. And to read the other posts I’ve written on topic of schooling, you can go here and find them all in one place.

I’m linking up with The Nester and her tribe of 31 Dayers.

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